The Neuroscience of Couples Therapy

It may surprise you to learn that neuroscience has a lot to say about the issues that bring couples to therapy. For instance, it can tell you why your spouse reacts the way he or she does. It is as simple as the fight, flight, freeze response in the brain. Which, of course, is not… Read more »

Couples Therapy, How to Get the Most from It

COUPLES THERAPY. The very words can strike fear in the heart of a struggling couple. Too often it is a last resort. Nothing has worked to make your relationship better, so you start couples counseling with little hope and the thought that if things don’t work out at least you’ll be able to say you… Read more »

Marriage Counseling, What Happens When You Go

When I meet couples for marriage counseling at my office in Salisbury, North Carolina, they are usually uncertain and apprehensive. At least one of them probably doesn’t want to be there. One partner may think everything is fine while the other is all but ready to file for divorce. “Tom and Tina, so good to… Read more »

In Search of a Healthy Weight

You’ve heard it ad nauseum – the benefit of regular exercise. It promises weight loss and increased energy. It is supposed to lift your mood and guarantee a longer life. It’s almost magic. It’s not magic Regular moderate exercise has been part of my life for decades. I make a habit of walking for an… Read more »

Overcoming seasonal detachment disorder to enjoy holiday family gatherings

Come November family gatherings are as inevitable as falling leaves. Airports and highways jammed with travelers heading home for the holidays are clear evidence of the human longing for attachment and connection. Yet, it’s an axiom of modern culture that these gatherings are often more endured than enjoyed, a testimony to widespread SDD – Seasonal… Read more »

Children long for significance and belonging

What do …an adorable baby, …a teen with attitude, …an exhausted working parent …and a fragile nursing home resident have in common? To start with they are all human. And like all of us they have deep longings for love, security, understanding, significance and belonging. These basic emotional needs form the foundation of relationships across… Read more »

Beware social media health hazards

Warning. Social media may be hazardous to your health. The health of your marriage that is. Start with what Facebook does so well. Connecting you to old friends. When those old friends are ex-girlfriends or boyfriends, high school sweethearts or college heart throbs – reconnecting may be the first step toward a marital crisis. Ditto… Read more »

How Does Your Garden Grow?

We humans, like spring flowers and summer gardens, are hardwired for growth. The early decades of life are characterized by luxuriant growth as goals are pursued, ambitions formed and challenges conquered. Think of the phenomenal growth in a healthy baby’s first year. The transformations as toddlers acquire language and muscle control. The delight as they… Read more »