The Value of Realistic Expectations

It’s been said that the secret to a happy life or a happy marriage, is to hope for everything and expect nothing. I beg to differ. Expect nothing and that’s what you’ll get. So, expectations need to be high. Right? Again. I beg to differ. In my opinion, realistic expectations are the key to contentment…. Read more »

Somethings Got to Change

“Somethings got to change. The status quo is not acceptable,” he says. “You don’t listen to me,” she fires back.  “You say one thing and do another.” “Talk is cheap. I need action.” “You change for two weeks. Then it’s back to business as usual.” These are words I hear often from clients in couples… Read more »

Death and Resurrection: Hope in the Age of Pandemic

Resurrection happens when life and death, darkness and light, converge. Because as Saint Francis said, “It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.” In the midst of this pandemic, so much death. The number of deaths from COVID-19 headlines the news. How many people in the U. S. have been killed by… Read more »

Coping with Uncertainty

Uncertain times. Uncertain, ambiguous, undetermined, indefinite, unpredictable, unknown, uncertain. Uncertain is the word I seem to hear most often these days from the news to Sunday’s sermons, to the clients in my office. Or the clients not in my office because of—uncertainty. Is it safe, will I be exposed to something, what if…? Should I… Read more »

Walking Mindfully

It’s 8 a.m. Time to take our resident terrier mix out for her morning constitutional. I suit up for the 25-degree temperature while Sparkle jumps up and down and runs around in circles, telling me in no uncertain terms to hurry up. I zip myself into my navy multi-pocketed puffy coat, stash house keys and… Read more »

Depression: Understanding its Presence

Depression is not “all in your head.” While depression is medically characterized as a chemical imbalance in the brain, it affects your body as well as your thoughts and your feelings, in fact your whole life.   Depression is more than moodiness. While everyone has their down days, clinical depression goes beyond a blue mood… Read more »

Silencing Your Inner Critic

If you are constantly worried about what other people think of you, no doubt you have a serious inner critic. Someone who speaks in the familiar voice of a disapproving parent, teacher or spouse. Someone who says things like: “Now why did you do THAT?” “You did WHAT?” “Can’t you ever get it right?” “You… Read more »

Beware the Holiday Landmines

Daily news reports of body counts and terror create in us a longing for the holidays to bring us cheer. We ache for moments of happiness, meaningful family time, celebration, fun. We yearn for the reality of “peace on earth and good will among men.” We are drawn to stories of love and generosity that… Read more »

For Better For Worse

This week my husband, Mike and I will celebrate (gasp!) 49 years of marriage. We met when I was a freshman and he a junior in college. By Christmas break, we were engaged. We married 18 months later after Mike graduated. I took a year off, or so I thought, to accommodate his post-graduate plans…. Read more »

Reflections On Mother’s Day

Another Mother’s Day has come and gone. It is a day often fraught with emotion – hope and disappointment, joy and sadness, pride, anger, guilt, gratitude are among the feelings that this annual ritual evokes. Why is this day so loaded with feelings? Sheer numbers are part of the reason. According to the census bureau,… Read more »